Provocative  Evaluation
by KaimanaMM
Summary: A short one-shot between F!Shepard and Mordin concerning the relationship between Shepard and Thane.


_Happy Holidays, Mayobin, my NSAS Sekrit Santa giftee!_

_I hope I came close to what you asked for._

_**Provocative Evaluation**_

"Shepard."

"Busy, EDI. Lunch break," Came the dismissive reply.

"Understood. However, Professor Solus would like to see you."

Shepard continued eating, blatantly ignoring the statement. Her eyes scanned the datapad next to her, mentally sifting through the junk that had been dumped within the past few hours into her email inbox.

"EDI. " Forking up another bite, she chewed for a minute, "Let Ms. Chambers know that I'm neither interested nor in need of a full set of krogan testicles."

"Yes, Shepard."

"Also, what exactly does anyone need with a Hanar-approved flotation device?"

"Recent studies conducted by the Hanar Illuminated Primacy have shown that accidental tourist drownings on Kahje account for-"

"Rhetorical question, EDI." Shepard made a slight face, picking up her drink while tossing the datapad down with a clatter. "What does Mordin want?"

"He didn't say. He seemed to indicate it was urgent."

"Good urgent? Bad urgent?" Regardless, anything and everything could be seen as urgent to Mordin Solus. "Let him know I'm heading his way."

"Yes, Shepard."

Picking up her tray and shoving the datapad into her back pocket, she deposited the load of now empty dishes on the spotlessly clean counter of the mess hall kitchen.

Rupert tossed out an absent wave from his hunkered down spot underneath the panel on the far wall, "Just leave it, Commander, I'll get 'er done soon as I figure out the kinks in this coffee maker."

"Thanks, Chief. Everything ok?"

"Good enough. That krogan of yours down there keeps punching holes in your ship. You ask me, should put him back in the tank."

Shepard nodded, making a mental note to see what was bothering Grunt, besides the obvious angst and temperament of being a krogan. "I don't know that I can get him back into the tank, he's a big boy now." She grinned, "But I'll have a talk with him."

With an easy stride, she turned, heading for the elevator, her mind going back Mordin's urgent need to see her. Maybe he'd made some headway in his efforts at reverse engineering their gathered Collector tech? Turning that thought over in her mind, Shepard found herself staring blankly at the closed door of the Life Support area.

"Professor Solus is located on the upper level Command-"

"Shut up, EDI."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

Reaching the lab, Shepard keyed in her personal code and with a soft sound, the doors slid open. Waves of music poured out. The deep bass of a man's voice matching the snare of drums, both playing against a backdrop of string instruments with a synthesized vibe.

"Mordin?"

The Salarian doctor held up a finger as the chorus of the song kicked in. His head bobbed up and down with the rhythm as he swung his shoulders from side to side. With a quick spin, he deftly shuffled his feet in a sporadic version of an impromptu two-step.

Rooted to her spot in the still open doorway, Shepard blinked slowly, riveted by the performance. The song began to quiet for a moment only to pick up once more with its constant refrain of 'Can't get enough of your love, babe'.

"Mute sound. " Throwing his arms open wide, Mordin smiled brightly, clearly enjoying himself. "Shepard!"

The greeting fell on the floor bouncing between the two with the music abruptly silenced.

Raising one eyebrow ever so slightly, Shepard replied, "EDI said you had something ... urgent."

"Urgent, yes. Absolutely imperative even. "

Coming around his lab table, Mordin's nimble fingers picked up a datapad resting in the middle of a seemingly random assortment of tablets, medical instruments and scanning equipment. He briefly glanced at it with a terse nod, before putting it behind him, standing with his back straight as Shepard approached.

An interested look replaced the one of speculation on Shepard's face, "What have you got? Something on the Collectors?"

"Aware Collector mission is critical. Vital." Mordin paused for half a second to gather his thoughts, "Felt we should discuss matters of a personal nature. Medical matters."

"Is there something I should know? Is someone sick, hurt? " Her mind jogged through the possibilities. When he didn't answer immediately, she made the connection herself. "Who, me? I've been to Doc Chakwas. I feel fine." Pausing, she leaned back against the lab table, "What's this about?"

Leaning forward conspiratorially, Mordin's answer was deliberate, "Aware of the nature of your interest concerning Thane. Not difficult to gage response. "

"What?" Came the flat reply.

"Thane's response. Your reaction. Nature of emotions complex. Courtship, mating. High probability of progression of intimacy. " Unconsciously, he began to tap the datapad against his hand, his look was direct "Basic need, desire, relatively easy to discern."

"I don't-"

"Urge caution not only for yourself, but Thane as well. Human Drell relations can pose certain risks. Potentially ... problematic."

"You've spoken with Thane about this?" The words were shocked and out before Shepard could stop them.

"Doctor patient confidentiality." Mordin's brow creased sternly for only a moment as he continued, "Unaware of any previous relationships in your past."

"Are you asking if I've ever ... "

Mordin coughed delicately in response.

"I know how the equipment works, Doctor." Shepard replied dryly.

"Good. Will delete that section. " He cheerfully went on, ignoring her pointed look. "Stress release natural for humans. Urges perfectly natural as well. In both species."

"Problematic in what way?"

Mordin smiled, appreciating her quick turn from surprised and irritated to interested and curious. "Prolonged skin to skin contact can cause slight discomfort, irritation. Can prescribe ointment for any possible swelling and associated itch. Oral contact, fluid exchange may cause minor hallucinations."

Shepard looked shrewd for a second, "Ok, I get it, ha ha. Did Kasumi put you up to this?"

"Would never joke about serious medical complications!" His tone was affronted, "Shocked at your suggestion that I could be coerced into such a position."

"Alright, alright." She threw up her hands before crossing her arms over her chest, "Thane and I have become close. He's important to me. I don't want to complicate things, but I'm not going to ignore the feelings or ... urges ... I have where he's concerned. " Determination stood out in her voice.

Mordin looked satisfied at her response, "Understood, Shepard."

"And unless I'm still mostly dead, which evidence strongly suggests otherwise, I'm getting some subtle, but unmistakable signals from Thane. What's your advice then?" Her green eyes were sharp, " As a doctor."

"Here." He eagerly pushed the datapad into her hands, "Have provided diagrams of various positions comfortable for both human and drell. Erogenous zone overviews. Videos to help stimulate arousal."

Distantly, Shepard looked at the images scrolling across the small screen, her head slowly tilting to the side, "_That_ looks complicated," she muttered before looking back at Mordin. "Thanks. I think."

"Of course, Shepard. Wouldn't want you to face a situation unprepared. Can answer any questions," He held up his hands as if to ward her off, "But draw the line at practice exercises."

"I'll just take this for now. I'll ... get back to you if I have questions."

"Will return to my work, then. Less stress in simple calculations. Not as much flexibility needed. No desire to 'set the mood'."

"What _was _that you were listening to?" Shepard asked quizzically.

"Human. Barry White. Late twentieth century singer. According to popular opinion at the time, vocal range considered an essential element in proper relationship consummation." Mordin had gone back around his lab table to peer through his microscope, "Easier on the ears than Batarian love poems."

"Batarian love poems?"

Nodding absently, he replied, "Batarian courtship rituals highly involved. Poems, songs, speeches. Declarations of fertility, various and varied displays of strength. Fasting, feasting . Can last days or months."

"Sounds pretty tame, for Batarian culture."

"Quite. Until the stitches are required from injuries sustained during the mating ritual itself." Mordin looked up to see Shepard 's expression of doubt, "That is, if the male ends up surviving. Will forward any music selections and information to your quarters."

"Sure. " She glanced at the datapad again with its erotic imagery, "Uh, thanks."

"Always happy to help, Shepard."

With that, the salarian turned back to peering through the microscope. Shepard supposed that was her cue to safely exit now that Mordin seemed focused once again on his work without some driving need to play relationship therapist. Getting into the elevator, she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, rubbing her hands over her face, Mordin's datapad under her arm.

As the downward movement came to a stop and the doors opened, Shepard met Thane's small quirk of a smile with open mouthed surprise.

"Siha." He inclined his head, his dark eyes never moving beyond her face. "You are well?"

She stood for a minute, weighing her feelings on Mordin's lengthy advice, before answering simply, "Fine. You?"

"I'm well. Any recent news?" He gestured towards the datapad she'd all but forgotten about. To his credit he showed no outward sign of having seen the splashy image of a well endowed, nearly naked human female clearly in the throes of an intensely pleasurable experience.

"Shepard."

"What is it now, EDI?"

"We have approximately one hour to our arrival at the coordinates provided by The Illusive Man. In addition, Professor Solus has forwarded information to your quarters regarding your discussion on Batarian mating rituals."

"I didn't-." She stopped suddenly, giving Thane a look of scrutiny while pursing her lips as if in deep thought, "And about those krogan testicles I need?"

"Ms. Chambers has been notified."

It was a well concealed movement, barely visible, but just enough for Shepard to see. The ridges above Thane's eyes rose fractionally, his expression amused.

"Never hurts to be prepared," Shepard replied mysteriously, waving the datapad, its image now a lithe, muscular, deeply hued and obviously male drell in a rather contorted and compromising position. "Thanks, EDI."


End file.
